Bye, guys.
It's three years.
Three years together.
The lads.
Me and you?
We'll see each other again. Really?
They're not going, are they?
Group hug!
See you, ladies! See you later
Group hug.
Oh, whoa, whoa, whoa!
Tilly?
Callum!
Tilly, come on. It's time to go home.
Come on. Come on
You know, we've never actually met.
Actually. we have. Several times
Have we?
You gatecrashed my birthday party, called me Julie,
and spilled red wine clown my top.
Ouch.
Well, I'm sorry about that.
NO, not BI all.
You were delightful.
Was I?
No. No, you weren’t
Look, if you're not Julie, then.....
I'm Emma Emma.
Emma Morley. Emma Morley.
Listen, I'll walk you home.
So this is me.
Shh! Welcome home.
So debate is fine, but anyone can talk...
Just sometimes, action's what's needed.
To change the world. I completely agree.
So what are you gonna be when you're, I don't know, 40?
Forty?
Can I say famous? Horribly rich?
Terrible. You're so terribly posh.
Where are you going?
I'm just gonna go brush my teeth.
You Know, booze and fags and.,.
I don't mind.
I do.
Listen, won't be a minute.
No playing with yourself while I'm gone.
What?
All right, Concentrate.
Concentrate. Do not cock this up!
Oh, you're going?
Well, it's getting light out, so I thought I could just...
You should go W you want to go.
It's very poignant. Very bittersweet.
Really I just thought you might wanna get some sleep.
I don't have to go.
No,no,go I'm not bothered.
Sneak off.
I wasn't sneaking off.
Jump out the window for all I care.
Li's five floors up, mind
Look, I'll stay. AH right?
I'll stay.
Come on.
Sorry, I'm no good at this.
It's just whenever I go to bed with someone,
I always end up either laughing or weeping,
and it could be nice to go for something in between.
Look, that's fine.
That's fine. Maybe we could just be friends.
Okay. Friends.
Of course, you know it's Saint Swithin's Day today, don't you?
What is?
Well, today. Saint Swithln's Day, the 15th of July.
How do you know that?
Well, he was buried in Winchester Cathedral,
which is where I went to school.
Well, Ia-dee-da.
You Know, there's a poem.
"if on Saint Swithin's Day, it doth rain
"something, something, something remain."
Dexter, that's beautiful.
Shut up.
Let's get some sleep.
But. Dex.
Em?
If it doesn’t rain...
...do you want to do some-thing? Me and you?
- Are you all right? - Lift, lift.
Okay, well, I'm coming up.
Couldn’t you have just hired someone to move- this stuff?
No.
Look, I would have paid.
All right, lift from your end.
You've obviously never done a day's work m your life.
Look, seriously, Em, my plane leaves m four hours.
All right, well, all the more reason why you should lift,
Gods sake.
Look, I'm doing you a favor.
And I am so, so grateful,
Stop whinging
I bet this bed could tell some stories.
Yeah, short stories. Horror stories
Welcome to London. Well, lift it.
I think I'm gonna be very happy here.
What is that Smell?
Onions.
Onions and disappointment.
Right.
NO, it’s not that bad.
It's nothing that a lick of paint
and a nuclear warhead can't fix.
I've got my typewriter. I've got my books. I'm m London.
I think it’s going to be all right.
I might actually get things clone.
You Know, you might actually meet someone.
Dexter, please.
A nice guy.
Sensitive wears a cardigan.
I told you I'm not interested in any of that.
Matching glasses, matching opinions.
I'm actually glad you're going to India.
Good, 'cause I'm leaving. I've got to catch my flight.
Already?
Yeah, I'm sorry.
Well, go on then. Find yourself,
Keep sending me those letters.
Long ones. I will.
And have fun, Em.
Of course.
You know, ii is allowed.
You Know, I've got a feeling that this time next year
you're going to take London by storm.
What is the difference between...
A tortilla is either corn or wheat.
But a corn tortilla folded and filled is a taco,
whereas a filled wheat tortilla is a burrito.
Deep fry a burrito, it's a chimichanga.
Toast a tortilla, it's a tostada. Roll it, it's an enchilada
Is there any chance you could repeat that?
Hello. I'm Ian. Ian Whitehead.
The new boy.
Welcome to the graveyard of ambition.
The kitchen. All right, mate.
What these guys cart’s do with a microwave
and a deep-fat fryer.
Hey, you!
Your basic Tex-Mex food groups.
Cheese on top of chicken under guacamole
on top of beans under rice on top of beef.
Word of warning, avoid the jumbo prawns.
It's like Russian Roulette. One in six will kill you.
So what's your stroke?
Sorry, my what?
VVaiter/actor waiter/mode\, waiter/writer?
Well, I'm a comedian.
We could use a comedian. We all like to laugh. I know I used to.
Well, I'm just starting out really.
Working on my "unique comedy Sysifos"
Not jokes so much, more sort of wry, little observations.
Ay caramba!
I've got this whole bit at the moment
about the difference between men and women.
How blokes, when they see a girl they fancy, they get all...
Toilets. Staff toilets. Oh.
Sorry. You were saying?
No, no. I'm doing an open mic tonight if you were interested.
At The House of Laffs, spelled L-A-F-F-S,
it's not a date or anything.
You've probably got a boyfriend anyway, have you?
Ian, I'd love to come, but after work
I like to head home, comfort eat, weep.
So what about you, Emma? What's your stroke?
What do you really do?
Uh, this. This is what I do.
Still, it's not forever, is it?
My room still smells. Tilly's Sending me mad. The flat's a dump,
I keep finding teeth marks in the cheese
and her big gray bras soaking in the sink,
Look: I'm sure it's not a complete disaster.
London's swallowed me up.
I thought I'd make a difference, but no one knows I'm here.
Listen, listen. Nothing truly good was ever easy.
Who said that?
You did.
Did I? That's annoying.
I'm sorry for moaning. I just... I really wanted to hear...
How's teaching? How's Pans?
It's good, Em.
You know, truly, really fulfilling.
Well, don? sleep with any of your students,
It's unethical and predictable.
It's good advice, Em. Thank you.
But I've got to go and have lunch with Mum.
Well, apologize again, will you?
I didn't mean to call your dad a fascist.
A bourgeois fascist.
Say sorry and, Dexter...
My morley's running out. Em?
Can you hear me? Dex? Dex?
I miss you.
Forty-five minutes late.
Yeah, well, I got waylaid.
And where were you last night?
Language school disco.
Was n fun? No, it was hell.
Tell me, who's been writing you all those long letters?
That is none of your business.
Was it that girl who came to stay?
Yeah. Well, Emma and I are just good friends,
How much holiday do you need?
I'm hot on holiday. I'm teaching English.
Dexter.
Isn't that Alain Delon?
What? Oh, no. it's your father.
Picking his corns. Stop it.
Take me for lunch tomorrow, will you?
Just you and me. Somewhere quiet with white tablecloths.
I want to talk to you.
Why? Is something wrong?
No. Nothing's wrong.
Then why do we need to talk?
Do I need a reason?
There you are. Degenerate.
Now, I thought you might want these.
Oh, thank you, my love.
So what's for supper? Please, God, not French food
Golden Boy wants to see you. Hmm?
He's got a new one.
Good night. Good night.
Night. Good might.
Have a good one.
We were just kissing.
You were trying to fit her entire head m your mouth
People have enough trouble keeping the food down as it is
And when does she see in you, anyway?
Well, she says I'm complicated.
You're just spoiled.
I got offered the job of manager today.
They told me they wanted Someone who wasn’t going anywhere.
All right, Em, listen. I think you should take a bottle of tequila,
I think you should walk out the door,
and I don't think you need to ever come beck.
But my job is my life.
You can't throw away years of your life just because,
well, you think it's funny.
My hair smells of cheese. Monterrey Jack.
Look, I thought you were writing poetry.
What, go where the money is? Tried that. Failed.
You just can't see it, can you?
Look, you’re funny. You're attractive. You're smart.
I mean, you're the smartest person I know.
Sure. You are. You're attractive.
You're sexy. What?
What? Is that supposed to be sexist or something?
No, it's not sexist. It's just ridiculous.
Em, listen.
If I could just give you one gift, all right,
one gift for the rest of your life,
do you know what I'd give you?
Confidence.
It's either that or a scented candle.
Come here.
Emma? So I've disinfected the meat fridge.
My hero.
Thank you, Ian. See you tomorrow.
Bye, mate.
Bye, Emma.
I should go, too. All right.
I’ll be fine. I just feel a bit lost, that's all.
Come on, everyone’s lost at 25.
You're not.
Trainee TV producer. Nice new flat. CD player.
Group sex Tuesdays and Fridays.
Yeah, but you know I am crying on the inside.
You know what you need, don't you?
Mm-mm.
You need a holiday.
Look, Dexter, all I'm saying is I think we need some rules.
Rules!
I'm not taking any chances with our friendship, all right.
AH right, all right. Such as?
Separate bedrooms.
Wherever we stay, no shared beds, no drunken cuddles.
I don't see the point of cuddling, anyway.
Cuddling gives you cramp
Agreed, then.
Rule number two. No flirting.
No having a few drinks and getting frisky with me.
Or anyone else.
Well, l never flirt.
I'm Serious.
Hello, whats this?
EMMA: Which leads me to rule three.
The nudity clause. What?
I don't want to see you in the shower, or have a wee.
Of have 3 a wee in the shower.
Well, I can't promise that.
You have to, Dex. it's the rules,
and absolutely no skinny-clipping.
All right, then Rule number four. What?
No Scrabble. I love Scrabble.
That is exactly why it's my rule.
Look, we're not dead yet.
Voilá.
What is that?
Hmm'? My swimming costume. it's called the Edwardian.
No, the masonry paint.
It's factor 30. I burn.
Here, let me.
I've not seen this before.
What, that? I got that in Thailand.
It's a yin-yang.
Looks like a road sign.
Yeah, well, it means "the perfect union of opposites."
It means "wear some socks "
This is scooped a bit low, isn't it?
Good job I didn't put it on backwards.
I think I'll go for a dip.
This is a nudist beach.
NO, it’s not.
It is Look. They're barbecuing!
You see, I couldn't do that. Barbecue naked.
What is that? Is that yoga?
Oh, God.
Grow up, all right. Back to your magazine.
I can hear you thinking. It's like this crunching noise.
The answer is no.
Don't you think we’d:l feel more comfortable with our clothes off?
Unbelievable. Just unbelievable.
Well, why not?
The rules. Not to mention your girlfriend.
What, Ingrid? Yeah, Ingrid.
She's very uninhibited.
She'd have had her top off at the check-in desk.
Well, as you keep pointing out, Ingrid used lo be a model.
You could be a model.
For a catalog or something.
I'm just saying that we're not entirely unknown to each other
from a physical point of view.
Drop it Dex.
Well, you know, that night after graduation.
Come on, you must remember.
No. Blanked it out like a car crash.
Well, I haven’t.
In fact, if I close my eyes,
I can still see you there just standing in the dawn light
Please don’t
Provocatively unclasping your dungarees
as you walk over to me.
I was not wearing dungarees.
So you do remember, huh?
Have I caught the sun?
No, you look.
You look fine.
Do you know I've never been abroad?
What? Don't be ridiculous.
It's true.
Fortnight in a caravan in Whitby drinking Cup-a-Soup with Dad
and trying not to kill Mum.
I can't believe I'm actually here with you.
Why? Hmm?
Why?
When we were at university, before we spoke even,
I had a crush on you.
Ridiculous, I KNOW.
But when we almost
did it that night,
I couldn't believe it.
I wrote poems and everything.
What have you got to say to that?
Well, I already knew.
What do you mean, you knew?
Well, I sort of guessed.
Ail those epic letters and compilation tapes.
So, go OH then. What happened?
Mm.
I got to know you You cured me of you.
I'd still like to read those poems. What rhymes with Dexter?
Prick. It's a half-rhyme.
Too much wine. We should go.
No, no, no. Not yet. Not yet.
Listen, lei's go for a walk.
So this is it.
It's lovely.
Hello? What's going on here?
Well, I thought we'd go for a quick swim. Sober us up.
Ah, I get it. I get it.
I've walked right into it, haven’t I?
You get a girl drunk and lead her to a large body of water.
Oh, come on, Em. Be spontaneous.
Be reckless. Live for the moment!
Come on, Em. Get in!
No!
You're such a prude Why are you such a prude?
Look, come on!
You could at least leave your underpants on.
Rule number three, remember?
Come on.
So this is skinny-dipping?
What am I meant to do? Sort of lark about? Splash you or something?
That's a very serious face.
You're not having a wee, are you?
No.
No. I just wanted to say that
I felt the same.
After our near-miss.
I mean, I didn't write poems or anything. I'm not insane.
But, you know I thought about you.
I think about you.
You and me.
Really?
Really? Okay, well...
Dex...
The problem is I fancy pretty much everyone.
Oh. I see. I mean anyone.
Really, I mean, it's like I've just got out of prison, all the time.
It's a real problem. I can imagine.
Yeah, and this thing with Ingrid, it's a sex thing.
It's just sex, sex sex, sex, sex.
The point's been made, Dex.
But me and you, it would be different.
I think we'd want different things,
and I don't think I'm ready, you know.
If you wanted to, you Know, have a bit of fun,
holiday fling, no obligations.
Oh, God. I'll take that as a no then, shall I?
I think so. I think our monument’s passed.
Come on, I'm not expressing myself clearly.
No. no you are, Dex. That's the problem,
You're worried I might care.
Hey! Hey. Come back here!
Come back, you little... Hey!
Thieves! Come back. Come back here.
Wait!
They've stolen my clothes! You little..
Will someone call the police? Wait! Come back!
Could you please stop laughing and do something to help?
Armani, that suit was.
The little frogs even took my underpants.
Armani?
No, Calvin Klein.
Oh, Dex, I'm so sorry.
Lime French bastards!
They took your plimsolls, too.
They're not plimsolls. I've never worn plimsolls in my life.
They were penny loafers, and I bloody loved them!
What? It's not funny. I'm a victim of crime here.
Dex?
What?
Your Calvin Klein underpants.
I'll find them.
I swear to you, I shall track them down.
Go to sleep.
I wonder how many rules we broke.
AH of them.
Except Scrabble.
Tomorrow, maybe.
Who says quality TV is dead?
Plenty more of this when we come back after the break,
so do not go away.
I'm warning you. We know where you live.
Go on, get out of here.
Look, I just called, all right, to let you Know
that you are the best friend I've ever had.
I'm touched, Dex, but you're off your face. And?
Look, it's 5:00 in the morning, Go home.
And you have an incredible body.
Dex!
Is that Dexter?
EMMA: Just promise me you’ll go home, pf ease?
I will, I will, I will, I will, I will, I will.
Dex, you have work in the morning. Dex,..
Look, good night, all right?
Remember, you are absolutely, truly amazing.
Dexter? Dex?
You're amazing
and famous.
I'm not that famous.
Aye aye How are you, old man?
Your mother's upstairs. She's been waiting all morning for you.
Good God, why are you sweating like that?
Well, it's a hot day.
NO, it’s not.
Look, how is she?
Well, why don't you go and see?
Mum?
Hello, hello.
Hello, stranger.
Look, I've got a present for you here.
It's not from me. it's from Emma.
Here, let me.
Thank you.
Oh, how lovely.
A little ambitious maybe.
You might want to push her towards short stories tn the future.
Mum, don’t
So what have you been up to?
:“m Dexter Mayhew. What a Show we've got for you tonight.
We've got a man who claims...
I'll skip this next bit.
There's an interview that's pretty good,
Perhaps I'll watch it later.
The live show is always a bit patchy.
I don't understand why you have to use that voice,
but then I suppose I just don't care for this sort of thing.
It's just a bit of fun for kids.
They just watch it after the pub.
You mean I'm not drunk enough?
NO, it’s not that.
You know. honestly, Dexter. Dancing girls in cages.
Is this what it's come to?
I just host it.
It's a means to an end, 'chefs all.
But to what end?
We always said you could do anything you wanted.
Fine. What do you want me to do?
Something good. It is good.
I just do what I’m told. Look, this is what I can do.
I'm sorry.
The medication makes me ratty
I just need a little lie-clown. I'll be better tonight.
Yeah, you know, um..
Actually, I've got this premiere thingy tonight.
Look, I’m sorry. I can't miss it. It's Jurassic Park.
I'm afraid I'm going to need some help.
Are you all right? Here, put your arm around me.
All right. All right?
Are you all right?
YES.
Can I get you anything? Water? Dry Martni?
What time is it?
Quarter past six.
Yeah, I must have dozed off.
I'm afraid you've missed our day.
Your father's a little angry with you.
Look, I'll stay tonight.
No. You go.
No pleasure for me watching you and your father snarling at each other.
Can I speak frankly?
Do you have to?
I think it's my prerogative.
I know that you’re going to be a fine man. Decent, loving, accomplished.
But I don't think you're there yet.
And right now, well, I worry
that you're not very nice anymore.
Well, there's nothing I can say to that.
There is nothing you have to.
I'm not going to argue with you.
You can come and collect your car when you're sober.
You're being ridiculous. I mean, you cannot confiscate my car Key.
Do not Clare to insult my intelligence!
Now your mother roves you very much. You Know that.
But for whatever time she has left to her..
If you ever, ever come to See your mother in this state again,
I will not let you in the house.
I will close the door in your face. Now...
Go.
Fine.
You're not there. J just remembered you're on a hot date tonight.
I'm too late.
Okay, can you call me when you get this?
It's just I need to speak to someone.
Not someone You.
A chainsaw for an arm. It was mad.
It's a work of timeless beauty.
It's the finest of the trilogy, methinks.
And I still understood it without seeing Evil Dead I or Evil,-' Dead H.
My only complaint would be that there wasn't enough violence.
You didn't mind, did you? Or did you want to see Three Colors Blue?
I'm gonna skip a starter because I had those nachos,
but you go ahead. You can have anything you like.
Anything up to the value of, say, £14.00?
No, no, seriously, no, have anything.
Well, you Know, within reason.
It's just so good to see you again.
And you're going to be an amazing teacher,
Congratulations. Thanks
I wish I'd had more teachers like you.
Not that I'd have got any work done. Miss Morley.
You have no new messages..
Comedy's a cruel mistress.
Sometimes, Emma, I think the only way
I'm going to see my name up in lights
is if I change it to Emergency Exit.
Anyway, I’m doing an improvisation night at the moment.
Mr. Giggles. Not his real name.
But I think I'm gonna stick to the more observational material.
I've got this whole thing at the moment
about the difference between cats and dogs.
Hey, please stop.
Okay. Do you know what the hardest thing
about being a stand-up comedian is?
Is it the clothes?
Very good No.
It's that people expect you to be on all the time.
Because if you're not being funny, then what are you being?
Ian, it's not a performance.
Except it sort of is, though, isn't it?
I've been so excited about seeing you Like nervous.
I'm sorry, I..
I'm no good at this stuff, either.
It's just I graduated today.
I'm finally, actually qualified to do something useful,
and I wanted to celebrate with someone.
Was Dexter busy?
Em, when you hear this, can you just get in a cab? And I'll pay.
Maybe you could even stay over, you know, on the sofa or something?
I need to just see you.
Please, can you just come over?
Emma Morley? Hmm?
Can I say something?
Go on.
I think you are the absolute bollocks.
You, with your honeyed words.
I should probably head home.
Don't go. Let's go somewhere else.
I live near. actually. I mean, it's a dump, like, horrible
But I've got music and booze.
Or a hot, milky drink if you prefer.
We could go on an Ovaltine bender.
AH right Okay. One two, three, go!
Which way?
This way, this way, this way!
That's not needy. That's just affection.
I've just got a lot of love to give.
Well, if I can't call you, can I come and see you?
Do you know where the matches are?
No.
You might wanna leave it for a couple of minutes, Go.
Hi, Miss Morley. Hi.
There gonna be a showbiz party afterwards
with champagne, and canapés, and the tinkle of laughter?
It's a school play, Ian. I suspect we'll be home by half 9:00.
Why don't you stay at mine for a change? I'll wash my duvet cover.
Is that your boyfriend, Miss Morley?
Oy! Cheeky.
Greetings, boys and girls. Welcome to the Late Night Lock In.
MAN: Camera one, Dexter.
The show that is late, live and loud
Dexter, gentleman to see you.
Mind the cables, sir.
Hey. Okay, ladies.
I helped myself to tea and buns.
I hope I'm not going to get you into trouble.
I'm sure it'll be fine.
There he is! Hey!
Doesn't he look gorgeous? Come to Suki.
Sum Sue. Come here.
I just want to eat you up.
Suki, actually, look, this is my father.
Wotcha, Mr M.
Isn't your son gorgeous?
Um he's very nice.
And where's Mrs. M?
Sadly, she passed away.
Barry, I need some water.
What an appalling woman.
Actually, she's sort of my girlfriend.
Oh, well, congratulations.
Your mother would have been most impressed.
Thanks, Dad.
I'll be watching at home if I can stay awake.
Have fun
and don't take any notice of what they Say in the papers.
Okay, Sir. If you'd like to come this way.
Please..
I'm the king of car crash television.
But you're the king of it. That's good.
Caption under photo "Odious "
Why can't you come again?
Because I'm working.
I'll send a car to come and pick you up.
Dex, I Ca n't.
I know, and I'm sorry. I'm just so much better when you're around.
Look, I'm just worried I'm gonna be
stood in from of the camera thinking,
"What's the bloody point?"
The show's ridiculous. I'm such a fraud, Em.
Hey, come on. That's enough.
You know what you're doing. You'll be fine.
Right.
Just don't speak in that weird voice, okay?
Okay. AH right. Bye.
Get ready. Here we go.
Great stuff. Let's move. Let's move!
Okay, come on, guys. Let's go.
We're on, superstar.
Ladies and gentlemen, welcome to Late Night Lock In.
The show that is late, live..
And loud!
And when a show we've got for you tonight.
Yay!
Well done, darling.
Thank you.
Come on, Miss Morley.
Bravo!
The Maxi Crew, ladies and gentlemen. The Maxi Crew.
All right, take a seat, fellas. Take a seat. You can sit down there.
Right, guys, I just wanna Start by Saying that that jam was fresh.
Right, okay, so let's kick it off with... Let's ask some questions.
What is hip hop? Is this the voice from the street?
Is this why you guys are just so angry?
No, dawg.
It's chill, it's chill, it's chill.
Right, okay. Listen, can you rap about anything?
For example, could you rap about a cheese sandwich?
Are you new here? Have you done this before?
Oh, dear. Do not fry this at home.
Ian?
Do you think you'll finish painting today?
I'd like to at least get the TV back inside.
All right, all right. I can have breakfast first, can't I?
We've had breakfast.
All right, brunch, then.
Brunch. Is lunch?? Is it breakfast?
No, it's brunch. What about brinner, say?
Or brupper?
Well, I should get on.
Bear-hug, snootch?
I thought we agreed about snootch?
I can't seem to say anything right these days, can I?
Look, if you don't want me to go tonight...
No, you should go.
Or if you wanted to come with us..
What? Dexter ignoring me, and you talking over me? No, thank you.
It won't be like that.
Anyway, I've got a gig tonight
at The Rose & Crown, Sir Laffalots.
Paid gig?
No.
Better get back to it then.
Thirty-four identical essays on Lord of the Flies.
Em? About 1 700 hours, do you fancy a little bit of the old...
You know, afternoon delight?
Wow!
You look incredible.
Oh.,.Ohh..!
Let's see the dress.
Is it vintage?
No, it's brand new.
Really? Mm.
Well, you look great, and I love the shoes.
Thank you, it's the world's first orthopedic high heel.
Look, it's been too long, Em.
I need to have some fun tonight. Can we have fun, please?
God, sorry.
Look, I'll be two seconds. It's work.
I'm naked!
Suki, you mutter.
Where are you, baby?
I thought you were supposed to be at the party.
You do know they damage your brain?
They do not damage your brain.
How can you tell?
Ha ha very funny, Em.
I guarantee you, one year, one year, and you'll have one of these.
You're on. If I ever get a mobile phone, you can buy me dinner.
What, again?
So, come on. How's the king of comedy?
Oh, Ian's fine. We both are.
Are you still very much in love?
He can belch the theme to The A-Team. I'm only flesh and blood.
I don't Know. These days, we don't seem to ...
And how's the new place? How's that?
Flat's fine. Well, it's a room and a half in murder mile.
And Ian's been talking about painting
the same wall for the past six months.
But it's got potential There's a view. The Gasworks
You should come round.
Mm! Mm.
How's Suki?
Oh, she's fantastic. Yeah, gorgeous
What’s great for me is that she really understands the industry.
You know, she knows exactly what it's like to be...
I was gonna say "famous" God, we hate the word.
Every time I turn on the telly,
she's there in a pink rubber catsuit.
She's doing incredibly well.
Yeah, yeah.
Well, we both are.
I've got some really, really exciting stuff coming up.
It's all sort of in development.
If I told you, I'd have to shoot you.
Please do.
Never mind. Start without me, all right?
Hello.
There you are, Enjoy.
What are you doing, you silly thing?
Well, listen, we'll talk later.
Look at this. This looks gorgeous.
Are you all right? Maybe she could join us?
Hey, hey, hey, what's this? I'm here to see you, remember?
Right, well, how's the teaching?
What? If you're not interested, don't ask.
I am interested.
I just thought you were going to be writing this novel, that’s alt
And I will But I have to earn a living.
More to the point, I enjoy it. I'm a bloody good teacher, Dexter.
I'm sure you are.
Still, you know what they say?
No, what do they say?
You know. "Those who can.. "
No, I'm sorry. I'm not familiar. Finish the sentence.
All right. Well, "Those who can, do,
"End those who can't teach "
And those who can teach say, “Go fuck yourself!"
Em! Em, come on. Look, whatever I've done, I'm sorry.
You've obviously had a bit too much to drink.
No, you're drunk! You're drunk!
Do you realize that I have literally not seen you sober for three years?
Nipping off to the toilet every 10 minutes.
Either you're on coke, or you've got dysentery.
Either way, it's boring! Banging on about yourself all the time.
Well, I wouldn't mind, Dex, but you’re a TV presenter, all right?
You've not invented penicillin.
All you do is stand around shouting, "Make some noise!"
Look, I am having fun, that's all.
I've been through a lot recently.
I might get a bit carried away,
but W you wouldn’t stop getting at men.
Am I? I don't mean to, and I. ...
I know that you've been through a lot with your mum and all, I Know.
But, there are things that I needed to talk to you about.
About how I am stuck tn this flat
with a man that I am not in love with.
And if I can't talk to you, then what is the point of you? Of us?
What do you mean, "What's the point?"
I think we've outgrown each other.
No, you have outgrown me. You think I'm uncool and dreary
I don't think you're dreary. Emu.
I think if it's over, then we should just face facts. Say goodbye.
It sounds like you're dumping me.
Yeah, maybe I am.
You're not who you used to be.
Come on, Em. Look, I apologize!
Please..
Come on. That's it.
There.
I love you, Dexter. So much.
I just don't like you anymore.
I'm sorry.
Johnny Cage wins.
That’s an almighty win from the Blade Cruisers there.
I think you'll all agree. Well clone, guys.
That's all from tonight's Joy Stick Jockeys. Join us next we-ek
when we review the smoking hot new console games coming at you.
Until then, night owls, keep gaming.